Breaking news – Chicago: America’s second tallest skyline was blacked out early this morning after a multilateral coalition of police from Philadelphia, New York, Baltimore and Boston launched an all-out offensive operation to topple Chicago’s corrupt regime and capture or kill key organized crime bosses in the city. Philadelphia and NYPD SWAT teams moved into position around midnight in preparation for this morning’s assault. O’Hare International is in complete lockdown and traffic bound for O’Hare and other city airports is being diverted to other nearby cities. Firefights are currently raging around the airport’s main terminal building, as well as City Hall and several other public installations.
Mayor John Street of Philadelphia held a joint press conference this morning with the police chiefs of all coalition departments to discuss the war, dubbed Operation Chicago Freedom.
“The people of Chicago have suffered long enough at the hands of the corrupt and brutal city government,” he said. “It is high time for the freedom loving people of the nation to bring the leaders of Chicago and their Mafia partners to justice. We will not falter, we will not waver. We will succeed in our endeavor, and we will liberate the people of this great city.”
Several reporters displayed skepticism of Mayor Street’s explanation. “We all know Chicago has a problem with organized crime,” stated William Casper of the Washington Post. “But is it the prerogative of Philadelphia to unilaterally engage in city-building around the nation?”
Street brushed aside what he called “such a short-sighted view” of the problem. “Our intelligence sources indicate that the organized crime families in Chicago are directly tied to the city government. We have faced increasingly compelling evidence in the past few months that Chicago may be in possession of materials which could conceivably be used to construct chemical and/or biological weapons. Such a capability in the hands of a rogue city cannot be permitted. Chicago’s recent stockpiling of flu vaccines is only the latest in a long chain of evidence which leads us to believe that they may be preparing for a WMD attack on neighboring cities, perhaps even as far away as Cincinnati.”
The Mayor also dismissed criticism of Philadelphia’s actions as “unilateral.” “Our good friends in New York, Boston and Baltimore are entirely on board with us here. Chicago’s attempt to acquire WMDs, not to mention its practice of harboring and sheltering organized crime, is nothing short of an attack on freedom loving people everywhere.“
In a later press conference held outside Philadelphia’s City Hall, Street’s spokesperson, Ms. Barbara Thomas-Mezvinski, was equally confident. “The city of Chicago has repeatedly violated federal gun laws,” she said, emphasizing that a key reason for the operation was to force compliance with federal requirements. “At least 379 separate gun laws were broken in Chicago last year for a total of 13, 782 violations. So far, only 164 of these criminals have been brought to justice, and all 164 were minorities. Not a single Mafia leader has been jailed in Chicago since the last Mayoral election. Mayor Street was elected with a clear mandate to fight crime, whenever and wherever it appears. This is his job, and he will not shrink from the challenge.”
The Philadelphia City Council was divided over the operation. Several members expressed concern that such action, rather than strengthening Philadelphia’s position in Washington, DC, would actually result in further erosion of the sometimes rocky relationship between the city and the Fed. “We have no business overthrowing another city government without a clear mandate from the national community,” intoned Councilman Sam Katz. “This business is nothing more than a drain on the city’s resources and will be a source of keen regret later.”
But Councilwoman Pamela Brown disagreed. “Chicago has repeatedly thumbed its nose at the federal government, and is not well liked even within the State of Illinois. Philadelphia has a responsibility by virtue of our position as a respected leader in the national community to deal with threats to our citizens. We owe it to ourselves and to the rest of the country to protect our people from crime. In the past month, there have been 19 shootings in this city that are directly linked to Chicago crime families. We cannot afford to stand idly by at such a time as this.”
City Solicitor Anthony Capellini agreed. “If we let the Mafia take over this city and kill us all, then the Mafia has already won.”
Firefights between coalition forces and Chicago police are in progress in several parts of the stricken city, as helicopters circle over the central areas of town. Rumors are in circulation that Louis Capone, grandson of the infamous Al Capone, may already be in custody of the Philadelphia police. We will be bringing you periodic updates at this location, so stay tuned!
Echoes of Aberdeen is fully responsible for the contents of this post.
